


Super Best Friends

by Maroonedpunk



Category: South Park
Genre: High School, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Confusion, discovering self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 02:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13157610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maroonedpunk/pseuds/Maroonedpunk
Summary: How do you tell your Super Best Friend you're in love with him?





	Super Best Friends

**Author's Note:**

> My first Style fic! I'm so excited to finally be done with this. I hope you enjoy!

“Craig, can I get some advice?”

Craig looked up at the redhead with a slight glare and slammed his book closed. He grunted in response and crossed his arms. Kyle swallowed nervously as he pulled at the collar of his coat.

“So, I… uhm, I… I’ve been thinking about my uhm, well, sexuality lately—”

Craig stopped him. “Oh my God. Kyle, did you seriously only come to me because I’m gay?”

“Well, er, possibly.”

Craig sighed. “Okay, kid.”

“I’m not—”

“Quiet. Do you want my advice or not?” Kyle closed his mouth and buried his hands in his pockets. “That’s what I thought. Okay, so you’re thinking about your sexuality. Tell me what you mean by that.”

“Well, like, I know I’ve liked girls, right? That’s a no-brainer. But I’ve been… thinking lately. About the way I see… guys. You know, dudes. And honestly? I think I may like them too. Which in all honesty is really freaking me out. I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me feels wrong because like, that’s definitely not something my parents would approve of, y’know?”

Craig raised an eyebrow and a smirk crossed his face. “You have a crush on Stan, don’t you?”

Kyle’s cheeks flushed as he stuttered out a response. “N-No, why would you think that?”

“None of us are idiots, bro. Anyone can see the sexual tension between you and Marsh. It isn’t new information.”

“We’re best friends—”

“Super best friends,” corrected Craig, who was still smirking. He began singing. “Kyle Broflovski is Kyle Gay-Flovski—”

“Dammit Tucker, shut up!” Kyle punched him in the shoulder and ducked his head to avoid revealing how red his cheeks were. “So what if it’s Stan? I obviously can’t pursue that. He’s my friend, and I don’t want to ruin any relationship with have. That’s stupid.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ, Kyle. Stan is so obviously in love with you back. You wouldn’t be ruining any relationship. You’d still be super best friends, just now you’d be super best friends with benefits.”

Kyle punched him again and Craig burst into laughter. “Fuck you, dude.”

Craig raised his hands in defense. “You wanted my opinion dude, you got it.” Their conversation was interrupted as Tweek sat down with his lunch, smiling as Craig tossed his arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, guys. Kyle, what are you doing here?”

“He thinks he’s gay,” Craig responded, still red from laughter. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Bi, actually. Tweek, your boyfriend is a real dick.”

Tweek frowned and nudged Craig softly. “Hey, go easy on him. You know he was voted the ugliest kid in school.”

“Oh my God! That was in elementary school!” Kyle tossed his hands up and groaned. He took a moment to glance back at his table, where Stan, Cartman, and Kenny were all talking about something that looked a lot more fun than what Kyle was doing. He sighed. “Thanks for nothing, asshole.”

“Okay, hold up, please. I’ll give you some sound advice, for realsies.” Craig leaned over and briefly caught Tweek up to speed, who nodded and looked back at Kyle sympathetically.

“You should tell him, Kyle.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. “Are you shitting me?”

“No, man,” Craig continued, leaning forward, “I agree. How will you ever know if the feelings are replicated if you never tell him?”

“Uhm… one, Stan is dating Wendy Testaburger, two, he’s as straight as a board, and three, he’s my goddamn  _ best friend.” _

Tweek and Craig shared a look. “Stan Marsh is definitely not as straight as a board. That is simply not true.”

“Even if it wasn’t true, he’s been dating Wendy off and on since the third grade. They are inseparable.”

Tweek scoffed. “Bullshit.”

“I agree. Their relationship isn’t gonna last very long. They’re constantly fighting about every little thing. Kyle, you could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

“Jesus Christ, you guys! That’s terrible.”

Craig shrugged. “It’s not that terrible, all things considered. I mean, I wish we could offer you some sound advice about getting into a relationship but Tweek and I don’t have the most normal story.”

“Yeah, we were kinda forced to be in a relationship, so…”

“But I wouldn’t change anything for the world.” Craig pressed a kiss to Tweek’s cheek and Kyle scowled.

“PDA, dudes.”

“Yeah, like you care about that. I guarantee you’d throw Stan down on the lunch table and start fucking him right here and now if you could—”

“Gah! Craig! Shut up!” Kyle bounced up from the table and shook his head rapidly. “Thanks for nothing, assholes.”

“You’re welcome!” Tweek called out as Kyle dragged his feet back to his own lunch table. He dropped down next to Stan and laid his chin down on his hands. Stan glanced over at him.

“Everything okay, man?”

“Yeah, why were you talking to Craig and Tweek?” Cartman asked, narrowing his beady eyes. Kyle scowled again.

“I had to ask them questions about the math homework. You know, the homework that I actually did like we’re supposed to.”

Cartman scoffed. “Fuck you, Jew.”

“Right back at yah, fatass.”

“Okay, can we maybe not fight right now? We’ve got more important things to talk about. Like Wendy and I.”

“Oh brother,” Kenny mumbled, rolling his eyes. Kyle had to agree with him on that one. Stan basically complained about his relationship with Wendy every single day. Tweek and Craig had been right about that one.

“No, listen. She’s all mad at me because last night we were watching a movie, and she was frustrated because it wasn’t a movie she liked, even though she was pretending to like it. So, the whole movie, she was being moody and passive-aggressive, so I paused it and asked her what was wrong. She got all pissy and shit and ended up leaving. Now whenever I text her, she won’t respond.”

“You should have dropped that whore’s ass long ago,” Cartman muttered, crossing his arms. Kyle glared at him. He hated that fat piece of shit with every bone in his body.

“Fuck you, dude. I love her.”

“Bullshit. We all know you’re super gay, dude. Gayer than Craig.” Somehow, Craig had heard that, and shot Cartman a glare.

An uneasy pit formed in Kyle’s stomach. If anyone found out he was bi-curious, he would die. Especially if that person happened to be Eric Cartman.

“Fuck you dude, that’s not true.”

“Uh huh. Sure. We’ll just pretend you don’t suck Kyle off behind closed doors.”

Kyle’s face turned even more red than it had when he was with Tweek and Craig. Christ. Leave it to Cartman to make everything terrible.

Stan blew a raspberry. “Nice one, Cartman. Real original. Like Kyle and I haven’t heard that before.”

“I uhm,” Kyle stood up too fast, bumping his knee on the table and sending a wave of pain down his leg. His face crumpled. “Fuck. I’m uh, gonna go to the restroom.”

“I’m sure Stan will be in there soon after!” Called Cartman as Kyle rushed through the school cafeteria and into the restroom. Butters was in there, washing his hands, and flashed Kyle a charming smile as he slammed the stall door closed. Kyle slid down the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest.

_ Okay. I know I like Stan. I’ve known I’ve liked Stan since we were ten years old. I thought it was normal, to feel that way about your best friend, but I didn’t feel that way about Kenny and definitely not fucking Eric, so, yeah. I like Stan, and I like him a lot. Like, a lot a lot. He’s the guy who makes me question my sexuality, which, thanks a lot Stan, you asshole. _

Kyle took a deep breath and pawed at his face. Damn. He was screwed.

Sure enough, Stan did come into the restroom a few seconds later, demanding Butters to get out. Butters complied, and Stan knocked on the door.

“Dude? Kyle? Everything okay, bud?”

Kyle stood up and opened the stall door. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Don’t let Cartman get to you. He’s a dick.”

“Yeah. Obviously. I’ve been saying that for years.” Kyle rolled his eyes and sighed. “Sorry for freaking out, I just, I’ve kind of been struggling lately.”

Stan’s brows furrowed. “Whatcha mean?”

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about like, gay people.”  _ Nice one. Real smooth. He definitely won’t get suspicious about something as fucking vague as gay people. _

“Oh.” Stan’s face softened. “You mean like, Tweek and Craig?”

“There are other gay people in the world than just Craig and Tweek, Stan.”

“Well duh, I know that. I was just making a connection. You can’t say ‘I’ve been thinking about gay people’ and not specify what you mean. How am I supposed to know?”

“Right. My bad,” responded Kyle dryly. He didn’t want to say anything about himself being gay for the fear of Stan feeling strange around him. “Stan, do gay people bother you?”

“Me? Of course not. It’s a free country and love is love. Obviously, Tweek and Craig don’t bother me, or else I wouldn’t hang around them. Well, Craig  _ is _ kind of a dick, so I don’t always  _ enjoy _ hanging out with him, but Tweek’s cool.”

“Yeah, Tweek is cool.” A sigh. “Well, sorry to have a mental breakdown on you, I’m fine now. Let’s go back to lunch.”

“Did you even bring a lunch? You haven’t eaten anything.”

“Oh. No, I haven’t, but I’ll eat when I get home.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Stan. I’m sure.”

Stan nodded as he held the door open for Kyle. “Do you wanna come over tonight and play video games? I just bought the new Call of Duty.”

“Sure. That sounds fun. I’d be down for that.”

“Awesome!” The bell rang for class, and Stan sped up his pace. “Shit. Uh, catch you later dude, I’ll text you when you when you can come over.”

“Okay.” Kyle stood in the hallway, his hands deep in his pockets, as Stan ducked into a classroom. He sighed. Damn. Stan had a really nice ass.

-

On the way home, Kyle walked with Kenny. Stan had to stay after for hockey practice, and Cartman sucked, so that left the two of them.

Kenny didn’t talk much, but when he did, he always made it worth it. Well, that wasn’t completely true. Kenny was kind of sleaze if Kyle really thought about it.

“Hey Kenny, can I tell you something? And you can’t tell anyone else, okay? I’m trusting you here.”

Kenny nodded as he pulled off his hood, revealing his bright blonde hair. Honestly, Kyle had no clue how Kenny managed to always get away with having his hood up 24/7. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I think… well, no, I  _ know, _ that I’m bisexual.”

“Huh.” Kenny clicked his tongue and drove his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Honestly, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“What?!” Kyle exclaimed. Kenny chuckled.

“Kyle, you’re always looking at Stan like he’s doing the most amazing thing in the world. Stan ain’t giving to charity or feeding the homeless. He’s like, writing a math problem on the board or, I don’t know, throwing a football. He’s not that interesting.”

His mouth dropped. “Okay, that is  _ not _ true. I don’t look at Stan like that.”

“Dude, you obviously are oblivious when it comes to how you look at him. I don’t look at him like that. Cartman doesn’t look at him like that. Not even Wendy, his own girlfriend, looks at him like that.”

Kyle scoffed. “Okay, I tell you I’m bisexual and the first place your mind goes to is Stan. It isn’t about Stan, okay? It’s only about that I’m also attracted to men.”

“You wouldn’t bring it up to me if it wasn’t about someone I knew. Not that I would have cared anyway, but I’m not stupid, dude. If not Stan, then who?”

“Craig,” Kyle lied. Kenny laughed loudly.

“Definitely calling bullshit on that one.”

“Fine, you got me. So what if it’s Stan?”

Kenny held his hands up defensively. “No need to get defensive dude. Like I said before, I don’t care if you’re straight, bi, gay, or whatever. Honestly. You’re my friend and I’m not going to stop being your friend just because of something like that.”

“Thanks,” Kyle mumbled.

“No problem. So, you have a crush on your super best friend, Stan Marsh. What are you going to do about it?”

Kyle nervously twiddled his thumbs and looked down at the ground. He kicked at a rock. “That was sort of my question. What do you think I  _ should _ do?”

“Tell him,” said Kenny nonchalantly. Kyle about exploded. What was it with everyone telling him to announce to the world that he loved Stan?

“Oh my God! Not you, too!”

He squinted his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“That’s exactly what Craig and Tweek said. I’m not going to tell him! That would be fucking stupid!”

“I think you are underestimating Stan.”

I think you’re an asshole, Kenny.”

Kenny grunted. “Stan isn’t a dick. He would understand.”

“He has a  _ girlfriend.”  _ Talk about déjà vu.

“Did you not just hear him at lunch today? They’re on the rocks, dude. That relationship isn’t heading anywhere good. And before you open your mouth and complain that they’ll just get back together again, I assure you, if you tell Stan, he won’t be getting back with her. Look. Wendy is a nice girl, and she’s nice to Stan, but they don’t make a good couple. You would give Stan the world. He is constantly having to be on the edge of his seat for Wendy. You already know everything about him, so it would work out.”

“You think so?”

“I  _ know _ so. And you might be thinking, ‘but Kenny, Stan isn’t gay!’ and to that I call bullshit. Stan is definitely not straight. Well, completely straight, at least. He’s made some comments that are a bit suspicious. Like when we saw that new  _ Thor  _ movie? He kept mumbling to himself how good-looking Chris Hemsworth was. And no, it wasn’t a passing comment. He said it multiple times.”

Kyle shrugged. “Everyone thinks Chris Hemsworth is good looking. That doesn’t count.”

“Oh my God, Kyle. Stop trying to make an excuse for every single thing I say. Look. I get that you’re afraid, and you may need to think about it. All I’m saying is that I know for a fact Stan feels the same way about you and nothing would be weird.”

Kyle’s heart thumped. “You think he likes me back?”

“Uhm…  _ duh. _ Anyone can see the way you two act when you are together. I guarantee even a blind man would be able to tell.”

They had come to a stop in front of the Broflovski household. Kyle looked longingly over at Stan’s house, wishing he could go over there right now. “Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should tell him.”

“And even if you don’t want to blurt out that you wanna fuck him—”

“KENNY!” Kyle threw a punch. Kenny burst into another round of belly laughter.

“Sorry, sorry!” He held his hands up in surrender. “Even if you don’t want to say it, at least try and flirt with him, or something like that.”

“Okay.” Kyle nodded. “I can do that.”

“Good. Keep me updated.” With a wave goodbye, Kenny put his hood back up and continued down the sidewalk. Kyle went inside, adjusting the strap of his book bag as his mother looked over from the television.

“Hello, bubbie! How was school?”

“Good. Stan wants me to come over and play video games with him later tonight if that’s okay. I have all my homework done.”

“Sure, Kyle. That sounds good to me. Don’t forget, tomorrow we are going out to dinner to celebrate your father’s big win, so don’t schedule anything, okay?”

“Okay, Mom. Love you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and bounded up the stairs to his room. Immediately he threw his backpack on the ground and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Stan had texted him.

_ I’ll be home around 4, so how does 5 sound? _

Kyle grinned.  _ Not soon enough. ;) _

_ Lol, true. See u soon, dude _

Kyle set his phone down on his desk and logged on to his computer, so he could watch Youtube videos. There wasn’t anything super entertaining on, but enough to keep him distracted until 5 o’clock came. On the dot, Kyle was waiting outside Stan’s front door, the doorbell already in mid-ring.

Randy answered. “Hey Kyle, looking for Stan?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He should be up in his room. Come on in.”

“Thank you!”

Kyle took the stairs two at a time and pushed the door in right as Stan was halfway done changing out of his hockey uniform. Kyle stood, looking like an idiot with his wide eyes and red cheeks as Stan covered his chest with his jersey and smiled. It wasn’t like Kyle hadn’t seen Stan shirtless before, but it had been a while, and he had kind of... forgotten. Plus, now, Stan was like, kinda... ripped. Playing sports really looked good on him.

Kyle had played basketball in junior high, but like, that was different. And also, Kyle looked terrible in junior high.

“Oh, jeez, sorry.” He finally snapped out of his stupor and stepped back into the hallway. Stan laughed.

“It’s fine dude, I just didn’t expect you to be here like, exactly on time.”

Kyle’s blush deepened. “Oh. Yeah. Well, I was just, bored, and stuff. Didn’t really have anything else to do. I was just excited to hang out with you. I feel like we haven’t been able to hang out, just the two of us, in such a long time.”

“Yeah, it has been a while, hasn’t it?” Stan let out another chuckle as he slid a pair of joggers over his arm. “Hey, why don’t you get the game set up while I finish changing?”

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Fantastic. I’ll be out in a second.” Stan disappeared, and Kyle sat down on his bedroom floor to start up the Xbox. He put in the new Call of Duty game and sat back while it loaded. Kyle looked around the room nervously and fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket. God, what was his problem? He had hung out with Stan hundreds of times before. None of this was new. The only reason he was freaking out now was that he had realized that the weird feeling that had always sat in his stomach ever since he was in junior high was because he  _ liked _ his best friend. Kyle thought he might even  _ love _ Stan-- well, yeah, he did love Stan, but... like, romantically? Sexually?

He wondered if Stan had ever slept with Wendy. Stan never really spoke about the intimate details of his relationship with Wendy very often, which did leave Kyle with a lot of questions. He’d bring that up later in the evening.

-

After about an hour and a half of shooting at each other, Kyle set the controller down and glanced over at Stan, who had his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. He frowned when he realized Kyle wasn’t playing anymore.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Stan... can I ask you something?”

“Well, you sort of just did, but I guess you can ask me another something.” He paused the game and turned towards the redhead. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s kind of personal.”

“Oh.” Stan blinked. “That’s fine. You know you can tell me anything.”

_ Not everything. _ Kyle sighed. “Have you and Wendy ever... had sex?”

“Jesus.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and picked at his sweats. “That’s... wow.”

“I said it was personal.”

“Yeah, you did. Well, uh, yeah. Yeah, we’ve had sex.”

Alright, so Stan wasn’t a virgin. Kyle didn’t think he was, but it was still a lot to take in. Stan continued. “Are you-- well, I, uhm... are you feeling bad, Kyle? About not being in a relationship?”

He shook his head. “No, that’s not it. I just, I feel lame compared to all of you guys. You, Kenny, and even goddamn  _ Cartman _ have all had girlfriends. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a senior in high school. It’s just... It makes me feel like a loser.”

“Oh, dude. You aren’t a loser. You are one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, and you’re my super best friend.”

“No offense, but I sort of want to be more than a super best friend to someone.”

“Yeah, I understand that. Maybe you could try like, a dating app or something.”

Kyle sighed. “No. I don’t really... want to do that.”

“I feel like there’s something more to this conversation that you’re not letting me into.”

“No. I’m just tired of being alone.”

Stan frowned. “Dude, you’re freaking me out. What’s actually wrong?”

“Nothing.” Kyle stood up and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I uhm, I’m gonna head home. I’ve got homework to do and stuff.”

“Kyle?”

“See you later, Stan.” Kyle walked at, leaving the conversation there.

-

The next day at lunch, Kyle sat down by Craig again. Craig looked at him and groaned again. “Dude. What now?”

“When you say, ‘Tell Stan how you feel,’ how do you suggest I do that?”

“Are you dumb?” Craig cocked an eyebrow. “You say, ‘Stan, I wanna have sex with you.’ How hard is that?”

“I don’t want to fucking have sex with him! Stop saying that!” Kyle’s voice rose, causing the kids at the next table to peer over curiously. Craig scoffed.

“Jesus, you’re grouchy.”

“I’m frustrated, about who I am. And you and Tweek are the only non-straight people I know, no offense.”

“No, why would I take offense to that?” He replied dryly.

“I know I like boys and girls, right? That’s not what is bothering me. What’s bothering me is that Stan has experience with relationships and I’ve never been in a relationship. Stan and Wendy have had sex--”

“Ew.”

“And I’m still a virgin, so I really can’t just rush in and tell Stan that I’m in love with him--”

“I’m not your therapist, dude.”

“So that’s why I’m asking for your advice.”

“Uhm... this is probably something to ask Tweek.”

“Did someone say my name?” Tweek exclaimed as he sat down and let Craig snake an arm around his waist. “Hey, Kyle. What’s up?”

“He’s having problems with Stan again,” Craig mumbled, picking up his fork to scrap at his mashed potatoes. “Kyle? Care to explain everything you just explained to me in full detail?”

“Yeah, I want to suffer too.”

“Pfft.” Kyle rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “Look. I know I’m bisexual, but I don’t want to just rush into anything with Stan and declare my love for him because one, he might think I’m a total freak because we’re super best friends and I don’t want to freak him out. Second off, Stan and Wendy have had  _ sex. _ So, like, he’s experienced, and I’m not. I just don’t want to ruin his relationship because I have a crush on him, y’know?”

Tweek nodded. “Okay. Why don’t you go online and try to get some experience with a guy? Maybe then you’ll feel better.”

“I also don’t want to mess up Stan’s relationship with Wendy.”

“Look, dude. We’ve already talked about it. Either you take our advice and leave us alone or you don’t take our advice and you leave us alone. Either way, please leave us alone.” Craig crossed his arms and scowled. Kyle nodded.

“Okay, okay. Fine. Thanks.”

After school, Kyle locked his bedroom door and sat down at his computer. He unzipped his pants and took a deep breath.  _ Here goes nothing. _

The idea of going out and having sex with a stranger did not settle well in his stomach. He could just... watch two guys... doing stuff, right? That would be normal...ish. At least it would give him some idea of what he should do in the future.

Besides, it wasn’t like he had never beat off before. That was normal behavior for like, people his age.

“Jesus,” he murmured as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Why was he feeling so  _ weird _ about it this time? It was fine. It wasn’t like anyone was going to know he was watching gay porn. This was his me time. It was totally, completely--

Fuck. He was thinking about Stan again.

_ Goddammit. _ Kyle slowly began stroking himself as the thought of having this be done by Stan’s own hand came to his thoughts. Stan, touching him, jacking him off, letting Kyle’s come spill through his fingers.

At this point, Kyle wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on in the video, he was thinking only of Stan. Having sex with Stan. Touching Stan, telling him he loved him, having Stan be  _ his-- _

He climaxed, moaning loudly into the palm of his hand as his other tried to catch as much come as it come. Kyle leaned back in his chair and took a few embarrassed breaths. Well, that didn’t take much effort. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He had never... fuck, he had never jacked off to the mere  _ thought _ of his best friend!

Kyle felt dirty. He felt awful. He bit his tongue as he cleaned up his mess and crawled into his bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. Why did he do that? Why did he--

His phone chimed. With a sigh, he reached for it only to discover he had a text from Stan. 

Kyle punched his pillow. “God DAMMIT!” He screamed at the top of his lungs as he let himself sink into his mattress. He hated himself, absolutely hated himself.

_ Hey man... Kenny said u weren’t doin too well. U kno u can tell me anything dude _

The phone was shoved under his pillow. Kyle was beyond frustrated. Stan was his best friend, and he couldn’t even interact with him through text because he was feeling so weird about himself. No, he couldn’t handle this anymore. He needed Craig.

-

Craig glared at him when he answered the door. Kyle had his arms folded across his chest and attempted a weak smile.

“What the fuck are you doing here.”

“Hello to you too, Craig. Can we...” he cleared his throat, “talk?”

“If you say one thing about how to tell Stan you like him, I swear to God--”

“No, no, it’s not that. Please. Give me five minutes.”

A scowl. “Okay, fine.” He opened the door wider and invited Kyle in. Kyle timidly stepped in and looked around. Craig’s younger sister Tricia sat on the couch and flipped her brother off when he told her to get out. After it became evident she wasn’t going to move, Craig flipped her off and led Kyle up the stairs to his room.

The dark-haired boy’s room didn’t scream... Craig. It was covered in posters of the solar system, the periodic table, even a lone Star Trek poster hung in a corner of his room. Kyle realized that he really didn’t know much about Craig.

“Sit,” demanded Craig as he pointed to his desk chair. Kyle obeyed and crossed his legs. “What’s wrong now?”

“I didn’t know you liked space so much,” Kyle whispered. Craig rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, you and your little group didn’t exactly do much to get to know me, right?  You guys did all kinds of weird shit when we were kids. Like uhm, getting me kidnapped and taken to Peru.”

“You’ll never let that go, will you?”

Craig cocked an eyebrow. “You’re right. I’m overreacting. Everyone gets kidnapped and taken to Peru, right?” Kyle looked at the ground. “Just tell me what’s wrong dude, so you can leave. By the way, your five minutes started a minute ago.”

Kyle didn’t waste time. “When did you realize you were gay?”

Craig’s tense expression diminished. Kyle guessed that Craig hadn’t expected to be asked that question. “Oh. Well, I was kind of a special case. I don’t know if it can actually help.”

“Please, dude. I don’t know who else to go to.”

“Tweek?”

“Possibly, but I know you’ll at least be honest with me.”

A nod. “The entire town just assumed that Tweek and I were dating because a bunch of girls were drawing naked pictures of us. It was weird, but it brought Tweek and I together. I probably would have never talked to him otherwise. At first, Tweek and I were just pretending to be dating because it was better than dealing with all the other shit. But as time went on... I realized that, yeah, I am gay. I’ve been gay since I was a kid and I wanted to deny it because of how bad it made me feel. But Tweek... Tweek made things better. The first time we kissed was like, the beginning of our actual relationship together, and then we were no longer faking it. I love him, and I know he loves me. I can see myself marrying him.”

“Wow, Craig. That’s great. I’ve never seen you so open.”

A grunt. Craig rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, whatever. What do you want with that information?”

“I’m very confused. About who I am. And it’s really stressing me out. Like, I’m losing sleep over it. I can barely even interact with Stan now because I feel so ashamed.”

“Why are you ashamed?”

“Because--”

Craig got it. “Ew, dude. TMI.”

“You asked!” Kyle shook his head rapidly and tried to calm his growing hysteria. “I just want to know what you did to get over that initial guilt.”

“You gotta find your Tweek. Or, at least someone to talk to about those things. Someone you trust, at least. The thing is, people don’t realize or recognize exactly who they are until later in life. Just because I came out doesn’t mean you have to as well. We all need time to discover ourselves, to figure out what we like, what we don’t like, how we want to live, etcetera. If you talk to Stan, you don’t have to come out and tell him you like him. Just talk to him about sexuality. Ask his opinion. Explain how you’re feeling. He’s your best friend, dude. He’s going to support you no matter what. And if you want to drop my name and drag me or whatever, I don’t care. If it helps, go for it.”

Kyle smiled. “Craig, can I hug you?”

“Fuck no.”

“I thought so. Thank you, though. That means a lot. I knew there was more to you than you were letting me know.”

Craig snorted. “Whatever. I just want you to leave me alone.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll leave you alone. Thank you, Craig. It means a lot to have you help.”

“Jesus fuck, please leave.”

“Yep.” 

-

When Kyle got home, he sent Stan a text.  _ I’m good. Talk tomorrow? _

Stan replied immediately.  _ Definitely. Love you, SBF _

_ I love you too, super best friend. _

-

Stan and Kyle stopped at Tweek Bros. before school the next morning. Tweek often worked in the mornings and looked thrilled to see them.

“Hey, guys! How are you?”

They shared a look, and Stan spoke. “We’re good. How are you?”

“Stressed. It’s been so busy, but my replacement should be in soon. It’s good to see some familiar faces because it’s usually just old people and adults on their way to work.”

“Yeah, sounds about right. We wanted to get some coffee before school, and catch up.”

Tweek raised an eyebrow and shot Kyle a look, who blushed in response and looked away. He nodded. “Sure, what can I get you two?”

“A caramel macchiato for me. Kyle?”

“Mocha, please,” he murmured.

“Awesome, I’ll get these made.” Stan began reaching for his wallet, which caused both Kyle and Tweek to stop him. Tweek beat him to the punch. “Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house.”

“Oh. You sure?”

“Definitely. I’m just glad to see people I know.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s annoying having to wake up at four to work, you know that?”

“Yikes. Sounds awful.”

“Tell me about it. Anyways, enough about me. Go catch up.” Tweek waved them off, and Kyle led Stan to a table. They sat in awkward silence for a minute until Tweek called out their drinks. Kyle stood to grab them, handing Stan his drink as he sat down.

“Okay. Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s... well, a lot.”

“You can tell me anything, Kyle. I’m serious about that.” Stan patted his hand, which caused Kyle to flinch. Of course, Stan noticed, because he had crazy hawk eyes or something. “Bro, what’s going on? I’m worried about you.”

“So, like, Craig has this problem. He has a crush on this kid, but he thinks his crush is straight.”

Stan’s brows furrowed. “Craig... has a crush... on someone else? What about Tweek?”

Shit. This was off to a bad start. “No, like... in a metaphorical sense. Like, for sake of anonymity, and stuff.”  _ Nice save, dumbass. _

“Oh, right. Do I know this person?”

“No, it’s someone I know from the debate club that lives in Denver. Anyways, they are really worried that this kid will freak out and hate him forever if he admits to being in love with him, you know? Because they are really good friends and he doesn’t want to ruin that, but he also wants to be honest with his friend. What do you think Craig should do?”

“Hmm.” Stan tapped his chin and took a sip of his coffee. “Well, being honest with your friends is important, but also, you aren’t going to know someone’s sexuality until you ask. Someone could be gay and not out of the closet yet, or bi, or whatever. You can’t assume sexuality by appearance. That’s whacked.”

“Right.”

“I also understand how Craig might be scared of losing a great friend. Sexuality can be a difficult subject, but if they are good friends, it shouldn’t be too strange. Like, girls and boys admit that they have crushes on each other, so it shouldn’t be weird when a guy and a guy or a girl or a girl or whatever tell each other, but unfortunately, that ends up being the case. Is Craig’s friend pretty understanding of the LGBT community?”

“I think so,” Kyle nodded.

“In my opinion, we’re all a little gay, and that’s by nature. Back then, when we were all hunter-gatherers and shit, we lived purely off primal instincts. Sex is a very big part of that, right? And the idea that they all didn’t pile in for one big orgy or actually refused to have sex with one gender over another sounds like bullshit to me. A person won’t know their sexual identity until they discover themselves. I think labels are stupid anyways. Like I said the other day, love is love. Was this the same problem you were thinking of when you told me you had been thinking about gay people?”

“Yep,” Kyle quickly lied. Okay, it wasn’t a complete lie, right? It was partly true because this story was actually about him, not Craig and not some other made up person in Denver. Jeez, talk about meta.

“Man, I had no idea this was bothering you so much. I hope my opinion helped.”

“Yeah, it definitely did. Thanks, Stan.”

“Of course. You know I care about you, right? We’re only eighteen. We’ve got time to discover who we are. Tell your friend, er, Craig, that.”

“I will.”

He didn’t.

-

Kyle pulled Kenny aside before he could go into the lunch room, his thumbnail in his mouth. Kenny raised an eyebrow but followed Kyle into the men’s restroom.

“Yeah?” Asked Kenny, leaning against the wall. Kyle checked under the stalls to make sure no one was listening before turning back towards his friend.

“Okay, I talked to Stan this morning.”

A nod. “About liking him?”

“No, about... well, kind of. I used like, a metaphor, but yeah, I kind of did tell him. And I think... I think I wanna come out to him.”

“Wow, dude. That’s quite brave for you.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Fuck you.”

“Sorry. What part do I play in all of this?”

“I just... I want you to be there, so it’s like I’m not just coming out to Stan, but to both of you. I don’t want him to get suspicious. I want to be able to tell him on my own time, when I’m ready.”

“I understand that. Sure, I can be there with you guys. I’ll just pretend to be surprised.”

Kyle smiled and pulled Kenny into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Sure, dude.”

-

They met a week later, in Kyle’s bedroom. Stan looked nervous where Kenny kept his arms crossed and his head down.

“Where’s Cartman?” Stan questioned. Kyle shook his head.

“He will never know what I’m about to tell you. I’m already the butt end of all his jokes, this would only make things worse.”

Stan frowned. “Dude?”

“So, I gathered you here today to tell you both that I’ve been keeping a pretty big secret, and I think it’s time for both of you to know.” Kenny gave him a subtle thumbs up as Kyle cleared his throat. “I’m bisexual.”

Kenny gasped obnoxiously while Stan just stared, blank-faced. Kyle wanted to punch that stupid blonde. Could he have been any more obvious?

“So, uhm, yep. That’s all I wanted to tell you, so.”

“You... you’re gay?” Stan didn’t seem bothered by it, but he didn’t seem okay either. He just seemed... confused.

“No, he’s bi. There’s a difference,” Kenny corrected.

“Sorry, my bad.”

“Does that bother you, Stan?” Kyle prayed it didn’t.

“No! I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me this earlier. How long have you known?”

“I wasn’t ready.”

“To tell us? What, did you think we were going to make fun of you?”

“No! I didn’t think--”

“Do you not trust me, Kyle?”

“Dude, chill out.” Kenny laid a hand on Stan’s shoulder, who shoved him off and jumped up from his spot on his bed.

“No! I don’t understand why you kept this a secret!”

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad! I haven’t known for that long--”

“How long?”

Kyle blinked. “What?”

“How long have you known?”

Oh. Right. He looked down at the floor. “Since junior high.”

Stan scoffed, and walked out of the room. Tears burned in the corners of Kyle’s eyes. What the hell? What had happened to the Stan he had talked to only a week ago? The one who claimed that love was love?

“Hey,” Kenny reached out like he had with Stan, but Kyle welcomed him with open arms. “Don’t take it too personally, he’s probably just dealing with his own shit. That doesn’t excuse his behavior though. He was an asshole.”

“I just... I don’t understand why he’s so... mad. Why is he mad?”

“He’s projecting, man. I don’t think it has anything to do with you.”

Kyle rested his chin on Kenny’s shoulder. “You don’t think he’ll tell Cartman, do you?”

“No. Stan wouldn’t do that. He’s your best friend. You just gotta give him some time, alright?”

A nod. “Yeah. Okay.”

-

Kyle stayed home the next day.

His mother, always the overprotective lady she was, believed him the second he claimed he felt ill. And so, here he was, laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling.

_ Tell him,  _ Craig had said.  _ Tell him,  _ Kenny had said. 

What a load of shit.

Kyle hated having feelings. He wanted to be nine again, when he thought relationships were gross and his only problem was deciding what he and Stan were going to play. Elementary school had seemed to last forever, and he wished he hadn’t taken it for granted.

There was a knock at his door. Kyle assumed it was his mother and rolled over as he called out, “Come in!”

The door creaked as it opened, and a familiar dark haired boy peaked his head in. Kyle grumbled and turned to face the other way as Stan stepped in, shutting the door behind him. 

“Go away,” Kyle mumbled, ignoring the fact that school wasn’t over, so Stan had to have skipped for him. Had his mother let Stan in, or had he snuck in?

“Dude, I know you aren’t sick.”

“Fuck you.” 

Stan sighed. “Kyle, I’m sorry, okay? I... I freaked out.”

He sat up, ran a hand through his freakishly crazy hair, and crossed his arms. “No, really?”

“I don’t have a problem with you being bi, or whatever. And like, you had to get the strength to tell me. I was stupid to call you out on that.”

Kyle’s eyes moved from Stan’s stupid face to a pile of dirty clothes in the corner of his bedroom. When was the last time he had done laundry?  _ Focus. _ “You were dumb.”

“I know. I know I was.” Stan crossed the room in two strides and dropped down onto the twin sized bed. Kyle grumbled again and shifted over. “Kyle, seriously? You’re being immature.”

He huffed in reply. Stan groaned and attempted to restrategize. “I... when we were little, I had this conversation with my dad that I never told you about.” Nothing. Stan continued, despite the fact that Kyle was being a bitch. “He told me that if I kept hanging out with you as much as I did, and still do, people would think you and I were... funny. And I had no idea what he meant at that point in time, but I figured it out eventually. Then of course, Cartman constantly teased us, and still does, about us making out and stuff.” Still nothing. Stan was getting more and more frustrated. “It never bothered me, and I know it didn’t bother you. Or did it?”

Finally, Kyle glanced over, a stern glare still on his face. Stan grabbed his face suddenly, his palms pushing Kyle’s cheeks together, and kissed him. Kyle’s eyes widened as he began panicking, but  _ Jesus Christ  _ Stan’s lips were soft, and feeling himself squirm under his best friend was getting him hot and bothered--

“Wendy!” Kyle shoved Stan off and fell off the bed. Stan frowned as Kyle scooted back, his butt dragging against the carpet. “You’re dating Wendy!”

“Oh dude, don’t make it weird.”

“Don’t make it weird? Don’t make it  _ weird?” _ Kyle stood up, wobbled, and leaned against the wall for support. He still couldn’t believe Stan had  _ kissed him. _ “It’s already fucking weird! You have a girlfriend and I’m your best friend and you kissed me!”

“I thought you wanted that.”

“What made you think that?”

“I figured out why you were spending so much time talking to Craig and Tweek, why you were suddenly so closed off from me, why you kept bringing up my relationship with Wendy. Kyle, I love you. I’ve always loved you. And yeah, I like Wendy, but we’ve been dating off and on for so long that I’m sort of just, over it. We break up, and I get sad, and then I have to do something to try and get her back. I don’t want to put forth effort into a one sided relationship.”

“So, did you guys break up then?”

Stan bit his lip. “Not exactly.”

“Dude! What the fuck!”

“I know, I know! It’s messed up. I wasn’t thinking and I’ve been so confused the past twenty-four hours and I thought it would be the best way to try and fix things.”

“Yeah, kiss me and cheat on your girlfriend, that’s the way to fix things.”

Stan scowled. “What is your deal, dude? What do you want from me?”

“I am in love with you, Stan, and I have been for quite some time. You’re like, the most perfect person I’ve ever met and I love having you as my friend and I’m sorry I’ve been acting so distant lately. I don’t want you to try and kiss me because you feel bad. If you truly love Wendy, stay with her.”

“I do love her, but I love you more. And I mean that. I do. When I was talking about how everyone is a little gay, I was really just talking about myself. And when you came out, I got mad because I knew I felt the same way but was too scared to admit it, even to myself. I’m not doing this out of pity, I’m doing it because I love you.”

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut. “Stan, you have experience, and I’ve never been in a relationship in my entire life--”

“I don’t care. We can go slow. I want to be with you.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Kyle’s breath came out in a quick  _ whoosh. _ He stumbled forward, causing Stan to grab him. Kyle broke down into nervous laughter, which caused Stan to awkwardly laugh along with him.

“What?”

“I fell, and you caught me. That’s so stereotypically stupid.”

“This is South Park. A lot of stupid shit happens here.”

Kyle paused and dug his toes into the carpet. “You have to break up with Wendy.”

“I will.”

“And we can’t tell Cartman. At least, not yet. I don’t want to deal with that right now.”

“I don’t want you to get obsessed with you and the fatass’s rivalry.”

“Stan.”

The dark haired boy smiled. “I know.”

Kyle yanked Stan into his arms and squeezed him tightly. “Super best friends?”

“Super best friends.”


End file.
